Perception and the Weather!
Us Brits are obsessed with the weather, or so other cultures seem to think. Perhaps it is because it is so changeable. We have micro-climates; I have known it to be raining half a mile down the road in the village whilst it is dry and sunny up at my house. The weather conditions provide the reserved Brits with an ‘ice-breaker’ to begin a conversation, I sometimes think that if a conversation doesn’t begin with a comment about the current climatic conditions it seems a bit odd!
It is early June and in my area we have soft summer rain falling, that is often described as ‘wet’ rain. How ridiculous is that! ‘Wet’ rain, only the Brits could come up with such an obvious, uncreative description. We all moan about it raining too, especially in the summer when we want sunshine so we can get a ‘healthy’ tan. There is no doubt that weather conditions affect our mood and our decisions about what activities we are going to engage in. As we get so much rain in the U.K ., maybe I should try to alter my perception of the stuff because it’s almost as if I use the wet conditions as an excuse to only carry out sedentary activities. For example; I have for many years chosen not to exercise my horse when its raining (my mare doesn’t like the rain almost as much as myself). Recently I started planting stuff in my garden, I certainly don’t want to do any gardening when its raining! But, for the last few weeks as I have struggled to water any of my newly planted flowers, I have been hoping it would rain. This hope for rain made me remember those people in countries that rarely get any ‘wet’ stuff and struggle to feed themselves as a consequence. So we come back to the word that helped me start my blogs off; ‘perception’. We in temperate climates perceive rain as a nuisance, an irritation, an obstacle which blocks our ability to engage in outside activities. I have lived and visited countries where rain is precious and life-giving and it is celebrated for the nourishment it provides. In this country we are lucky, although I know we pay for it in water rates and taxes, that we have clean water at the turn of a tap, good conditions for growing all sorts of crops and if we really had to we could feed ourselves with what we can grow and rear on quite small plots of land. Maybe our perception of rain would be different if we remembered this more often. I for one must admit that until I went to Nigeria a few years ago, had always taken the availability of clean water for granted. Perception changes when experiences provide a different view on the same thing. I don’t love rainy conditions but I definitely perceive rain as a blessing and am grateful that I live in such a green and pleasant land.
‘Eureka’
Yesterday the items I ordered off the www arrived. One of the things I need for insect microscope work is Potassium hydroxide, which is an alkaline and is a fairly noxious substance. I only ordered a 250ml bottle of a 25% solution but I was amazed that it came. The internet is an amazing tool, it opens all sorts of possibilities for anyone who is able to log onto it. I know it has its dangers and its drawbacks but surely the benefits outweigh the negative results that may occur from its use. I remember from somewhere that the guys who initially thought of the ideas for creating this whole, then new, technology wanted it to be something for the people, something that governments could not control and I think that except perhaps for a few instances they achieved their goals. China springs to mind when I say this and the situation with the government there shutting google down, people here thought it was a worthy enough occurrance to talk about. The www has become a sort of ‘right of freedom’ I suppose. I do know that 15 yrs ago I would never have been able to source all the chemicals and science equipment I want, without having a good contact in the profession and even then it would have been difficult to actually get a company to send an unemployed individual the ‘specialist’ items.
I do think however that making scientific equipment difficult to obtain has as much to do with the snobbery and the elitist mentality of those who work in science fields. What irks me is that all the great naturalists and discoverers of bygone ages were, like Darwin, just amateur enthusiasts. They were interested in life and all its workings and didn’t really start off investigating or recording their observations for the glory of being published or being awarded doctorate titles (PhD). It may be a bit presumptuous but I’m putting myself in the same category as those great figures, not because I believe I will be hailed by history as a ‘great mind’ but because I have a passion for my subject and after many years of being refused into the elite circle of academics I realised I don’t need to be institutionalised to follow my instincts. I may have an advantage over some of those great naturalists in that I have had some pretty high quality tuition, in my field of interest, which gives me a better starting point. At the same time I know that I can shed some of the narrow minded restrictions that are placed on academic researchers and I can be as creative as I care to be because I don’t have anyone funding me or screaming at me that deadlines have to be met.
I wasn’t sure when I started writing this what my point was going to be! Today I have concluded, through the series of events and directly because of the support and encouragement I have received from family and friends that I am in a ‘happy place’. The frustration of not finding employment in an academic research facility has dissipated and has transformed into a feeling of determination that I can practice scientific investigations without the pomposity of the scientific community. It’s a kind of ‘eureka’ moment all of its own!
Organising Ideas
If you have read my previous blog you will already be aware that once I had decided I wanted to actually put my passion for insects (and some of the education I have) into practice, bought a microscope and been all excited about the possibilities in front of me, I suddenly had a feeling of anti-climax. This was mainly due to me ‘jumping in the deep end’ and not actually thinking things through in an adult manner. I was just like a child with a new toy and although I would never discourage anyone from behaving this way it is sometimes advantageous to have things better prepared. A whole load of organisational problems occurred to me after I had received my microscope. The first problem was that looking at insects would require some pretty dangerous chemicals; that is if I was going to do it in a scientific manner. To identify most of the smaller creatures I am interested in, under a microscope, means processing them in a number of different chemicals as well as using special substances to mount (stick) onto microscope slides. The chemicals are needed to soften the insect exoskeleton, the hard covering on the outside which is equivalent to our bone structure, make the insect more transparent so more of the detailed structures can be seen and usually thus making identification easier and to preserve the sample on the slide, so that it can be viewed in all its original glory, months or even years afterwards. More about the actual chemicals at a later date, I’m still working on suppliers for them!
All well and good you say….ummmmn but then I’m thinking, “in the kitchen! Where I prepare food!” not so good maybe! But I need water, an electricity supply, good lighting, oh and it really should be a pretty dust free, child free, dog free zone; none of which my kitchen can comply with. So I have a downstairs toilet area which has always been used to dump wellies and wet coats, the dogs’ leads and various other bits and pieces that just get left in there. This would make an ideal clean room/homemade laboratory area, it has a water supply and good lighting though no plug sockets and it’s a good thing my old lap top has a good wireless card in it.
Before I can actually start looking at any creatures this area will need to be cleared out, cleaned out, the brick walls sealed with some sort of plastic type sealant or paint and I need to get a quote from an electrician for some electricity sockets to be put in there. Running an extension cable from the kitchen is possible but not a terribly safe option with dogs and children coming in and out of the doors. There is also the problem of the door opening inwards, which not only tends to make a lot of space redundant, needs to open outwards to prevent dust being dragged into the area. Plastic curtains would be a good option, the type that is used in food preparation places, where environmental debris is needed to be excluded. I’m not sure where I would get those from so maybe I would have to come up with an alternative idea.
That is where I am up to regarding the physical site for my work or hobby area! Some of my friends think I have totally lost the plot and that it is far too much work just so that I can indulge myself and look at creepy crawlies but I know that it is going to reap its own rewards. I just can’t wait to get everything organised so that I can use my microscope for what it was purchased for!
Inspiration, Indecision and Possibly Clarity?
It is quite a while since I posted my first few blogs, the inspiration and encouragement I received from a couple of already mentioned ladies as well as from friends and family has resulted in me being quite busy trying to organise other aspects of my life. If you would like to read on you may find out what it is that has kept me so otherwise pre-occupied!
As an undergraduate and subsequently as a graduate student I always gained the most enjoyment from the practical, investigative, microscopy projects we were ‘allowed’ to complete in the laboratories. That is; those set, practical exercises that the tutors do, year in and year out, with every batch of students they teach. If you have ever studied science or ‘hands-on’ subjects you will know just what I mean, you are given a couple of minutes warning about how to use equipment safely, handed some printed sheets with instructions on them (oh and aims and stuff for your write-up) and all you do is toddle off to the side benches and collect all the items needed to complete the ‘experiment’. The whole experience was made easy and enjoyable by technicians who set all the necessary equipment up and the fact that we had step by step instructions! I now know why practical sessions in the laboratory rarely went wrong! We had everything there ready for us and we didn’t even have to think about in which order to complete things.
Some time ago I decided that I wanted to actually practice my love for biology by studying the organisms which interest me most, at home and as a serious hobby; also with the intention of setting a web site up and publishing any bits of interesting or useful information. There have been a number of logistical hurdles to overcome before I could even think about publishing a web site and I will go into these in a logical order in separate articles. The first logical step was to buy a microscope; it took me a number of weeks trawling the www to decide which microscope would be most suitable for my needs. There are so many different types and qualities and of course they vary greatly in price, which was a major consideration, though not as major as I had first thought it might be. I will compile a summary of the process I went through choosing the ‘right’ microscope in another article, hopefully to help alleviate the agony of indecision for anyone else who wants to take up microscopy.
I finally chose my microscope, ordered it and waited for it to arrive. It was a good thing I hadn’t held my breath because there was a problem with the courier finding my address which delayed me receiving the said item. When it did arrive, I was so excited, like a child receiving presents. I actually made myself wait until I had done my chores around the house and ensured I had ample space on the kitchen work tops. I spread everything out and checked all parts were present, correct and in working order. I was greatly relieved when they were, especially after the delay in me receiving my precious instrument. I looked at the pre-prepared slides, caught a couple of passing insects in the garden, my Granddaughter helped, she ran excitedly around the garden with her pink seaside fishing net, waving it about in the air, asking if she had caught anything. We looked at a few things, I must admit the most endearing part of the whole afternoon was the amazement of a four year old child, looking through the microscope and viewing things that had “gone big”.
Then it was as if the enormity of the whole idea just fell out of the sky and landed on top of me like a huge pile of sand. So many questions, how was I going to make the best use of this instrument, where would I set it up, what else did I need to look at the things I so wanted to study? Talk about an anti-climax! I have since, in the last couple of weeks, decided what the answers are to these questions but at the same time even more queries have arisen. I will follow up with some of these questions and answers in a separate rant! For now I think you have most probably got the gist of how confused and befuddled I am about something that I thought would be a really simple process, but that’s life, it’s rarely as simple as we expect and even as I mature in years I do tend to ‘dive into the deep end’ and only initially think about things with childlike consideration. Perhaps if I thought about the things I want to do with a serious ‘adult’ approach I would never attempt them! I do believe we have to keep aspects of the child in our personalities or life would become very dull and unadventurous.
Inspiration, Motivation and Reaction
I love the colours fire produces…not a brill pic but its a warm one!
I have been inspired and what a great feeling that is! Suddenly a flood of ideas cascades through the mind and the adrenaline rush that accompanies the process elevates mood and makes one feel as though the world could be conquered with a pen flick or maybe a few type written words! To reiterate on the subject of inspiration, it is Val’s blogs and her beautiful photographs that precipitate my ideas. Firstly Val’s blog is positive; she finds something good to say even on a cold, wet day, her photographs are full of colour and light, they sometimes focus on living objects other times she uses inanimate objects. Whatever her images are they always seem to project joy and it is that projection that awakens the desire in me to do something! The courage to actually follow through on some of the ideas is another issue, but the blog is a starting point and in a way it is comforting to know that people aren’t really reading it….so it’s more like a personal diary at the moment.
The inspiration is there, when that wanes I read Val’s blogs and look through her ‘flickr’ pages for the return of the motivation. “Actions speak louder than words” is a cliché but one that is true most of the time; putting the inspiration and the initial motivation into action is the hard part. How do I act on the vague ideas and feelings derived from the blast of inspiration?
I suppose part of the reason for blogging is because I do not have anyone around me to help change an idea into something that can be hauled out of the ether into actuality. Ideas, when vocalised, become more tangible and someone else’s input helps to form a plan of action. An undeclared idea remains just an idea; floating inside one’s head and becoming lost amongst all the other indefinable brain activity. Answer – Be decisive! Instead of vocalise, record; the old-fashioned way would be on paper, I lose bits of paper…..so electronically is a better option! A plan is forming; next step is to list ideas which should lead to action being taken!
Perceiving Pain
Does this beautiful creature see its own reflection?
This morning I awoke to find that I was going to have a ‘bad day’. A bad day from my perspective is one that means I am in pain. Pain is a personal concept but not necessarily a private one, if people ask how I am, I may say to them…’Im not good, in pain today’ but then I feel guilty.
My pain is spread throughout my body and is caused by something called Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Information on these and similar conditions is easily accessible on the internet, there are support groups and forums for individuals with these syndromes, just as there are for other medical conditions. I hope to set some pages up that deal with the conditions and the current research available in the near future, but not today.
Today I want to talk about how pain is perceived and why I feel guilty when I tell people “I’m in pain”. Everyone experiences and deals with pain at some point in their lives, different types of pain affect us in different ways. Emotional pain can be just as devastating as the pain caused by an injury but sudden or traumatic pain is perceived differently because we know that the pain will dissipate. The experience that caused the pain may change our perspective and possibly our actions; an accident caused through being careless usually results in us taking steps to prevent it happening again. I once managed to stand on a garden rake, causing puncture wounds in both feet, I have never done any gardening with flip-flops on since!
Chronic or long-term pain, in my case, does not have a singular cause rendering it difficult to alter ones actions in order to prevent the pain occurring. I like to define things, categorise them, structure them and have an order to the stuff in my life! No-one would ever know that from walking into my house though because I am so untidy….its more to do with the stuff in my head than actual objects! I cannot define or structure my perception of the pain I feel. Another word just popped into my head…..control! Perhaps the issues I have in relation to ‘pain’ are connected to control (or the lack of control), it has just occurred to me that is what all the other words add up to. Does that make me a ‘control freak’, maybe but that is definitely a subject for another time!
So what about feeling guilty? I feel guilty because there are so many people out there who are really unwell, people who may not get better, people who have to live with pain and suffering on a far worse scale than I do. I know this but I still whinge, so I feel guilty. I try not to complain about my aches and pains; when I do I try to remind myself that what I have to deal with is insignificant and I should be grateful for so many things that are good in my life.
The other major issue I have with living with a chronic pain condition is how you want other people to perceive you. Nobody wants to be thought of as a whinging, moaning old so-an-so but I know that is how I must seem at times, especially to those who are close enough to me to get moaned at on a regular basis!
Answers? Instead of moaning I’m blogging! Perhaps there isn’t much of a difference but no-one has to read this, they can’t if I don’t publish it and the ultimate aim is to blog positively about the issues surrounding my perception of pain and any subjects that arise, related or not! I also want to collate scientific and medical information, initially related to chronic pain but eventually to include all sorts of science stuff.
Anyone who identifies with anything I have written or wants to add comments, suggestions or have a good old moan please feel free to do so.
Inspiration!
Inspiration; now there is a word that has not been a part of my vocabulary or my life for some considerable time. However today that has changed; actually it isn’t just today that I have been lucky enough to be inspired, it has happened over the last few months, for a few simple reasons.
One of those reasons is a lovely lady called Clare, who lives in a county just a bit further North than my own. With much gratitude I can tell you that she has been instrumental in helping me put my life back together and because of her I am now in touch with some amazing people. Those people make me smile on a daily basis and when you can smile it makes your existence worthwhile. Clare has given me the courage to contact people and consequently I am in touch with another wonderful lady called Val. It is Val that has inspired me today and that inspiration, I know, will be long-lasting because she has made such an impression on my mind and my soul. Val writes a blog too and she also posts some amazing photographs. If the eyes are the window to the soul, then a camera and the photographs taken by that soul, must be a reflection. Therefore Val is a very beautiful, sensitive soul and I thank her for her generosity in sharing her gift.
Inspiration is a rare and precious occurrence and should never be unappreciated.
Radar Def On
Hello world!
First post….where to begin……..so much to comment on!
At this point in time perception is a word that is most definitely not just an inactive element in my vocabulary or my life. If a few moments are snatched to contemplate what the word itself means a multitude of thoughts seem to cascade through the mind.
How we perceive people, situations and the world in general dictates how we deal with our lives. How often is what we perceive to be true; correct? How often is perception like the photograph I posted at the top of the blog; just slightly distorted? What does even the slightest distortion in perception mean in terms of the decisions we make and consequently what ‘fate’ has in store for us? Then of course there are the questions that rear up, through the fog of consciousness, about how other people perceive us and what about those people who make decisions relating to national and international importance?
Perception is so much more than just another word.
Radar Def On
